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March 30th, 2009

04:58 pm - good thing, it's spring!
my new spring playlist "Good Thing, It's Spring!" consists of 6 albums:
1) Black Kids - Partie Traumatic
2) Chester French - She Loves Everybody EP
3) The Republic Tigers - Keep Color
4) School of Seven Bells - Alpinism
5) The Virgins - The Virgins
6) Yeah Yeah Yeahs - It's Blitz!

and it, needless to say, rocks my casbah.
Current Music: Black Kids - I Wanna Be Your Limousine

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February 10th, 2009

03:04 pm - aww

"Fidelity": Don't Divorce... from Courage Campaign on Vimeo.

that's cute. though there's a girl who holds up a sign that is definitely bad addition...there would be 36,000 hearts, not 32,000. but i mean not everyone's a winner. it's the thought that counts.

oh and i like regina spektor. she reminds me of brooklyn.

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January 30th, 2009

05:38 pm - a new star trek movie!
directed by JJ (Abrams!)!

why did i just find out about this? *fidgets excitedly until may '09*

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January 16th, 2009

01:15 am
dunno if this is old news, but cool fucking website. i'm surprised actually to see that not many donations came from the san diego area. oh wait, strike shows waaayyyy more when you zoom in really close.

a google map of people who donated to get gay marriage banned in california.

oookay now i'm getting obsessive and kind of annoyed because there are people i know who donated!!!! i mean not people i know but people's family's that i know! fuckers!!!

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November 5th, 2008

02:33 am
President Barack Obama, black man. I didn't dare to imagine it. For some reason my thoughts keep going back to my father; he would be so proud. I shed tears of joy - for the first time in I don't know how long - when CNN called it for Obama. I grew up in a household where a large portrait of Martin Luther King Jr. was the centerpiece of our family room. I grew up understanding, from within my family and without, the effect of the colors of skin. When my father was born in the South, it was illegal for most black people to vote. Not until he was in his twenties was the Voting Rights Act of 1965 passed...when he was my age, come to think of it. He saw the change then, I would think, as I see this change now. Another step on a ladder to which he was and I am chained because of the colors of our skin. Because of a very long history of race-based discrimination. For me, today has given me hope - my faith in the American people has been affirmed for the first time since I truly realized that my faith was uninformed. How will things change? Who knows? But I feel, deep inside me, that this is so, so positive.

However, in four states, limits were placed on my rights as a person because of my sexuality. Arizona banned my right to marry, Arkansas banned my right to adopt children, California banned my right to marry, and Florida, too, banned my right to marry. When and how will this end? Barack Obama's victory gives me hope that I can eventually be considered a true American citizen, one deserving of the same rights as others.
Current Mood: touchedtouched
Current Music: the times they are a-changin' - bob dylan

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November 3rd, 2008

09:27 am
just 43 years ago black people weren't allowed to vote in places like Selma, Alabama. Just forty-three years ago. In Barack Obama's lifetime, the face of the nation has changed enough to go from not being able to vote, to being able to become the PRESIDENT of the united states. maybe i'm just emotional, but as a black person, i get so excited that this brings tears to my eyes.
Current Music: bob dylan - eve of destruction

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October 29th, 2008

01:21 pm - Minnie
Wherever you are, send Minnie love. She is nearing the very end of her journey through this life and I want her to feel love from everywhere, because I can't be by her side right now.

Minnie has always been the most amazing companion, friend, familiy. I remember when she was 4 months old, I carried her in my arms from the breeders house to the car. I remember it so vividly. From that moment, in June of 1998, we were together. I was her family and she was mine. I gave her unending and all-consuming love and she gave me nothing less. I named her Minuet after Beethoven's Minuet in G. Because she had a musical quality about her, a beauty that touched somewhere deep inside.

Minnie always came to me when I cried. We had our own language. When she was a puppy and she whined for her mom, when she was scared those first few nights, I had her in her crate next to my bed, I would get out of bed in the middle of the night and press my face to hers and say "bashi bashi." I don't know what it meant, it just came to me and it calmed her and it was our special way that nobody else knew to say I love you, I'm here for you, you have nothing to be afraid of because I will always protect you. It meant all of that. It means all of that.

Minnie loved to chase squirrels. Rabbits. Birds. She grew up on a mountainside in southern california. She was always "birdy" as we say in the golden retriever community. She couldn't keep her eyes off of them. One time she caught a rabbit and was just so so proud of herself. she stood at the back door holding it's foot for me and even though it was absolutely disgusting it was just so cute because she was so happy. she really really wanted to show me.

Minnie was so easy to train, it wasn't really like training at all. She just understood what I wanted, and was eager to do it. All she ever asked for in return was a pat on the head, a hug, a kind word. That's all she ever asked for in this entire world, was love. A being content with love. That is what I learned from her.

Minnie was there for me when I was very depressed. I probably wouldn't have lived had I not brought her to New York. I told my birth mother during a fight one time that I needed to bring Minnie with me so that I had a reason to that I had a reason to get up in the morning, to stay alive because she couldn't live without me. I'm no longer depressed. I live every day and am genuinely a happy person, a happiness that comes from within, finally, instead of from other people, or substances, or antidepressants, or therapy. I could not be in the place that I'm in without Minnie's unconditional love.

I've written numerous poems about Minnie since I got her 10 and a half years ago. I suddenly can't find any of them in my journal, though.

If anyone has any pictures of her...I think there are some on facebook, could you email them to me? I would like to see her right now.

To Minnie. To everything you have taught me, without ever uttering a word. To everything you have given me, with just the lift of a paw. To the times you rolled around in the dirt just because it felt good, and all the times you layed on your back trying to catch your tail in your mouth. To the way you tap dance when you're about to get fed, or whenever I come home. I love you so much. You'll always be my pretty puppy girl.
Current Mood: okay, but sad
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October 25th, 2008

03:10 pm

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October 24th, 2008

11:30 am
It will feel so good if Obama becomes President.
Current Mood: hopefulhopeful
Current Music: pat benatar - we belong

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October 4th, 2008

12:59 pm - some poetry
wrote this one yesterday:

I like to relajarme
sentar y mirar el mar,
la playa
sentir el viento
whispering en la piel.


the poem i wrote to the people whose house i stayed in after i was assaulted:

I stayed in a house
life threw me a raft
when I thought I was sinking
I must have been daft

to think good was gone
from this sometimes dark place
the people I met
brought back smiles to my face

in just three days time
I discovered in mine
life goes up and down
but I won´t always frown

as long as there´s people
people like you
to radiate light
(and make heart-chakra-opening stir-fry tofu!)


something i wrote in March, when B and I first broke up, and I was still very depressed

prose grows, like
  hair on toes, slow-
but somehow comforting

a pleaded reprieve
  given to me, late-
just a heart´s beat too late

woe flows, like
  casino water shows, that is-
I don´t much mind it.
Current Mood: goodgreat

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